Question: What in God's great earth are you going to eat? The SunChips bag crinkles like death. Frosted Flakes require a clattering spoon and bowl, sorry Tony. Say your prayers if anything falls on the unforgiving tile. You are craving a waffle bowl full of something sinful, perhaps some M-Slab or Coldstone. Except you don't have five Washingtons to drop, and by now your ice cream is abandoned in a dark shop freezer- an abyss of bliss that we all fantasize about- to endure the rest of the frosty night (or morning?)
Enter Target's Madagascan Vanilla Ice Cream. 56 ounces of velvety frozen heaven.
The unassuming blue carton boasts a description of a "silky smooth ice cream with aromatic Madagascar Vanilla extract." I immediately thought, cut the BS Target. Who uses the word aromatic? "How is your ice cream madam?" "Splendid. Simply duh-vine and aromatic." The only person I could imagine blurting those words would be a pruned English socialite at the end of an extravagant seven course meal. But with one bite of this utter lusciousness on a spoon, my opinion changed. I was even contemplating that Target somehow stole Haagen Dazs ice cream, slapped an Archer Farms label on it by mistake (or perhaps for clandestine kicks), and got away with its profits. I was sweetly stumped.
With a dash of quiet confidence and steady hands, I managed to scoop some Madagascan Vanilla from my ethereal, arctic freezer without clanging into my ice cream bowl. I have never in my life had a better vanilla. It was like the dessert gods received a new deity- a gorgeous, glowing white- ball -of -decadence kind of deity. A perfect yin and yang of delicate and creamy. An irresistible taste and texture- a rich yet subtle flavor harmonized with a satiny finish. Yes, I'm talking about ice cream people.
Did I mention how unfairly photogenic it is?
So whenever you happen to be strolling the frozen aisles of Tar-Shay amidst the ample amount of ice cream candidates, keep on the scoop-out for the aromatic Madagascan Vanilla. Ignore the overbearing Breyer's. Give the cold shoulder to Ben and Jerry's. You never know when you need to impress an English ice cream elitist.
